Home Page Services Pregnant? Resources Abortion Guys Classes FAQ STD's Contact Us

Guys - FirstChoice Clinic is here for you, too!

Pregnancy affects guys, too! We can connect you with someone who cares about your needs and can help you.

What do we offer?
  • Relationship building
  • Parenting Classes
  • Material assistance
  • Sexual integrity
  • STD information
  • Post Abortion Recovery
Contact us -- our nurses and consultants can help you understand all of your options. All services are free and completely confidential.

Toll Free 1-888-237-6530 • info@firstchoiceclinic.com

How can I support her?

Are home pregnancy tests reliable? How can we find out if my girlfriend is really pregnant?

Home pregnancy tests are generally accurate, but your girlfriend should see a health care provider to be sure. FirstChoice Clinic provides free pregnancy testing and limited ultrasounds to confirm a pregnancy.

My girlfriend is pregnant and won’t discuss her plans. How can I get her to include me?

Your girlfriend may exclude you from her decision because she feels hurt and angry. You may need to reassure her that you care about her and the baby. If you are sensitive to her needs, she will be more likely to involve you in future plans. If it is mutually agreeable, our nurses or consultants can meet with you and your girlfriend to help you make a plan for your child’s future.

Just because my girlfriend and I stopped seeing each other doesn’t mean I don’t care about my baby. She says if I want the baby, she comes along too. How do I handle this?

FirstChoice Clinic’s trained staff can help you work together and make a plan that takes care of the baby, even if the two of you can’t agree on anything else. The more communication there is between you, the fewer complications there may be in your child’s life.

Options

Now that you have found out that you are going to be a father, there are several options that exist for you to seriously weigh and consider. Although you may be in denial, feel overwhelmed, angry, excited and/or stressed, you need to try to clear your head and focus on making good decisions for this new life that is forming.

Parenting

You and the mother of the child may choose to parent the baby and raise your child together. If you choose this option, you should start considering such things as prenatal care, expenses, living arrangements, careers, marriage or joint custody and raising the child outside the context of marriage. FirstChoice Clinic has many resources to help you make good decisions, with services specifically designed for men. Classes, books, and videos are available, along with baby supplies. Choosing to father your child is a responsible decision that your child will benefit from in years to come. We strive to make this unexpected pregnancy easier and even enjoyable for you and the mother.

A wonderful resource for new dads is The National Fatherhood Initiative - www.fatherhood.org – check it out!

Adoption

You and the mother of your child may decide to allow someone else to care for your child. FirstChoice has many resources available to you. If you are not ready to parent, consider adoption – it’s a very mature decision that puts the needs of your child above your own. You are showing selfless love and consideration for another person; your baby and his/her future.

When a woman or couple recognizes that they are not ready to be a parent, there are usually two options that enter their mind: Adoption or Abortion. It’s important to know the similarities and differences between the two.

The Similarities between Adoption and Abortion

  • You can pursue earlier goals and plans.
  • You can live independently.
  • You will not have to parent prematurely.
  • You will be free from the financial burdens of parenting.
  • You will have the freedom to choose if you want to have a long-term relationship with the baby’s mother.
  • You can resume your education or career.

The Differences between Adoption and Abortion

  • With adoption, your pregnancy ends with giving life. With abortion, your pregnancy ends with death.
  • With adoption, you can feel good and positive about your choice. With abortion, you may feel guilt and shame about your choice.
  • With adoption, you will remember giving birth. With abortion, you will remember taking a life.
  • With adoption, you will have plenty of time to plan your and your baby’s future. With abortion, the decision is final; you can’t change your decision.
  • With adoption, you can hold, name, and love your baby. With abortion, you will never know or treasure your baby.
  • With some adoptions, you can have continued contact with your child. With abortion, you will miss the opportunity to see your child develop.

Abortion

In today’s society, men are becoming more and more involved with raising their children. Ironically, they are being denied the right to be involved in life-or-death decisions affecting their unborn children, such as abortion.

This powerlessness not only takes a toll on the male self-image, but it may bring on role conflict, anger, guilt, and often the end of the relationship with the mother of the child.

Many men often describe the abortion experience as bewildering and painful beyond their ability to cope with the many emotions. In one study, three out of four men reported that they had a difficult time with the abortion and others reported persistent day and night dreams about the child that never was, with guilt, sadness, and remorse.

There is unfortunately a double standard with abortion. While the right to choose or not choose future motherhood is guaranteed, the right to insist on future fatherhood is not.

If you are concerned about abortion, you are wise to be worried. A woman usually makes the difficult decision to have an abortion because she is afraid to face the pregnancy and child rearing alone, especially if she doesn’t feel supported by her family or you. Abortion may seem to be a quick and easy way of handling an unexpected pregnancy. However, abortions may leave long-lasting emotional scars, as well as possible physical problems. Abortion ends the life of an unborn child and may cause you and your girlfriend to experience many feelings of grief and loss. As the father, you may not always have legal means of interfering with an abortion but you can always encourage your girlfriend to talk with a consultant. Your strong support at this emotional time is crucial! FirstChoice Clinic has both nurses and consultants who are ready to assist you.

Adoption information cited from Bethany Christian Services, Grand Rapids, MI

Abortion information cited from "Forgotten Fathers: Men and Abortion" by Vincent Rue, PhD, Life Cycle Books, Niagara Falls, NY.

Live with Sexual Integrity

At the right time, being a father can be a great joy. It means providing love, support and guidance to your child; it requires you to take time, be patient and to provide financial support for your child. If you are not yet ready to be a father, think before you act. Every child deserves two loving, caring parents. Are you ready to be one of them? If it’s too soon to be a dad, take steps now – live with sexual integrity – save sexual expression until you’re ready to start a family – wait until marriage.

Note: FirstChoice Clinic offers confidential pregnancy options, including post abortion support and services; however, we do not offer or directly refer for abortion services.